Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Here and There and back again

Well, I guess I am back.

I have had this open for awhile, but have not posted. I guess the uncertainty of what job I would undertake for the year was keeping me from disclosing anything new. I also was nervous to include things about my life, because of recent events.

I am extremely open with people, yet extremely private as well. I have no trouble telling anyone about anything and any time. I have nothing to hide. Then, I had some people who were mean to me, or even inappropriate, you might say. They treated me in such a way that I did not feel comfortable having my life on display. My life was open to them, yet they contributed nothing back except grief. This makes me not want to share. My life is not here for others to view without interaction. I love relationships with people. My father thinks he is having a conversation with someone when he is doing all the talking and telling stories about things of interest to him. I do not share his thoughts on conversation, in fact it drives me crazy. Although I do tell stories and talk a lot, hahaha, I do expect participation. So my time away has had moments where I ponder why I blog. Is it for me, for others, for working out life's concerns, for telling a story of daily life? I don't really know.

I tend to keep away from most scintillating details of my life. My subhub seems to embrace them and post them exclusively (just my opinion honey). This is a huge differences in our thoughts and communication. I know my subhub works through a lot of what he is going through by putting it down on screen. Men do not have the luxury of discussing details in microscopic detail with their pals like women do. I also know that my subhub loves our life and wants to share that. I tend to want to keep things under wraps because I am subjected to the wankers and he is not.

The bottom line for me was very simple; I stopped receiving benefit from posting and only experienced heartache. I usually don't continue on a path where pain outweighs pleasure. I will begin again and see which way it will go this time. I will post for me and when I want, or I will find another avenue. Oh, and if you are brave, stand up and be recognized. I really like feedback and interaction. It may encourage me to post again and feel a part of something worth doing.

I have been busy and have much to tell....don't you want to know?