Okay, it is actually more complicated than that, but I am not attributing sex to the end all romantic version of "I have to be in love" to do it. I love my husband and I give that kind of love to him. The sex I have with myguy is great, but it is indeed different. There is no mistaking that we are fond of one another, but until we decided what we truly want from each other, it is just sex.
I have only been in this non-dreamy state a few times in my life. And, interestingly enough, it is during my strong assertive woman periods. I go on "the hunt" as we gals used to call it. We have fun but not necessarily attach to a man. It is not unlike the behavior we saw in many of our male friends that "played the field". The reason I think I am in this mindset now, is that I am open to the possibilities to find the correct fit for my relationship with my husband and another man. I do not want to exclude a possible fit with any man I am currently talking to, but I don't want to yet put myself in a vulnerable or dreamy state. This undertaking is being done logically and deliberately. If I was to muddle the waters with emotion, I might make the wrong decision. That my friends is what would be considered the thinking of a man.
But, I most decidedly am a woman. I want it all. I want a fit for both myself and my husband and the new man. I want the man to be devoted to me. We can all have our own lives and be separate, but when we are together, I want focus. Truth and Commitment, in whatever form that takes, is paramount. I also want great sex and romance. See, I told you, all woman!
I also haven't felt the need to discuss the sexual details of my relationship (unlike my lovely subhub). That is also the woman in me. I could blow your socks off with the details...but why? I see no need to tell those details, but will bore you with the minute details of almost any other part of my life. We girls only save the juicy stuff for other girls. Weird, but true.
Okay, here are some details, cause I realize I never give titillation in my blogs. It's good...really, really (just keep going) good. I have not had sex like this since...never. I had really great sex with my first true love and he is the benchmark for all other men since. Although none came even close to him. He could last as long as I wanted, drove me crazy and then would cum on command. Unfortunately for me, he was the first guy after my first sex with another guy (long story) so I thought all sex was like this. Big news! uh uh. All sex after that was pretty much a 2 minute dash or less. I had no idea. Now I know why all the jokes about sex have to do with quick performance: it's true for the most part. Sure you luck out once in awhile and win the extended play version. But, most times it's over so soon you better hope you got some good foreplay before hand. Otherwise, you are staring at the ceiling saying to yourself...what just happened there, was it a drive by F***. Of course it is all still good, you just want more. Oh, by the way, sorry if it is harsh...just ask a woman and she would probably agree with me.
My husband and I have fun in so many other ways, with Kink and Tenderness too. Our sexual play is fantastic! I just don't get that crazy sex vaginally with a real penis. So, we sought to find that as well. Oh my gosh! It does exist. Myguy can bang away for 2 hours and not cum. We also were quite athletic and went in all kinds of positions. My subhub loves that. He knows that this is what I like and although he wishes to give me that, he can't. He feels stimulated rather than lessened by my new coupling. He and I had the best orgasm after my last meeting with myguy: go figure. I have the devoted guy at home and the hot sex. I am indeed a lucky gal.
I also am like the guy, cause these two men orbit around me a bit. It was weird, but good, when the three of us sat down to eat together. I was the common ground (so to speak) and they were both waiting for my direction and decisions. I liked that dynamic, but did not like the awkward pauses that would occur if I sat back and waited for them to speak. I was "the man" and said where to eat, when to go, and how it all went down. Well, that is actually the woman in me, but I just use this as an example of how a Domme woman is more like the traditional idea of a man.
I am like the traditional woman in that I am not telling myguy how to have sex with me or playing specific sex games. I want to be swept off my feet and have a more traditional sex relationship to begin with, at first. I believe that as I get to know my new partner and we trust each other, the rest will follow. That is how I have always lead my sex relationships.
Okay, now I am really going all woman, babbling about little. I will end here and let out the details that I am off to meet Bachelor #2. We might just meet for drinks/lunch or we might meet for more. Either way...Man, I feel like a woman.